5 Things to Do When Navigating a Nursing Strike

When your baby refuses to nurse, it can feel overwhelming. Breast or chestfeeding refusals often have two main challenges:

• Figuring out the cause of the refusal.
• Supporting your feeding relationship while working on a solution.

Let’s walk through five practical steps to help you navigate this phase as you make it to the other side.

1. Recognize Your Worry Spiral

It’s easy to feel like your baby is rejecting more than just feeding—they’re rejecting you. But they’re not. Your baby is simply saying, “Something feels hard right now.”

When we see refusal as rejection, it can create anxiety. Babies are incredibly intuitive and can sense our stress, which can make the refusal worse. This cycle is what I call the worry spiral.

A worry spiral happens when one small concern grows into a much bigger story in our heads, like:

• “My baby isn’t latching now” becomes “My baby will never latch again.”
• “I’m failing my baby” becomes “I’m a failure as a parent.”

The truth? Refusal doesn’t mean failure. It just means your baby is saying “I can’t” in this moment.

How to Stop the Spiral:

• Remind yourself that latching isn’t a measure of your love or value as a parent.
• Shift your language from “They won’t latch” to “They can’t latch right now.”
• Take a deep breath and focus on the steps you can take to help.

2. Offer, But Don’t Force

Forcing feeding rarely works—for anyone. A baby who refuses to latch isn’t saying, “I won’t.” They’re saying, “I can’t.”

To rebuild trust, create a safe and positive feeding environment. Try these ideas:

• Skin-to-skin time: Take a bath together or cuddle shirtless if your environment allows.
• Gentle presence: Be near your baby without offering to feed.
• Pause if needed: If your baby shows signs of aversion (arching away or crying when offered the breast/chest), take a break. Focus on making feeding spaces feel safe before offering again.

Remember: This process takes time. Give yourself permission to go at your baby’s pace. You’re not losing time—you’re building trust.

3. Use Night Feedings as an Anchor

Babies often feed better at night or during naps when their reflexes take over. Here’s why:

• When asleep, the part of the brain that controls choice isn’t active.
• Reflexes guide feeding instead of learned patterns, so your baby may feed longer.

Use these nighttime feeds to help meet their nutritional needs, reinforces their latching skills, and helps you maintain your confidence and your supply.

Worried about creating a “bad habit”? Don’t be. Feeding during sleep relies on reflexes, not conditioning. You’re responding to your baby’s needs, and that’s exactly what matters right now.

4. Protect Your Supply in a Sustainable Way

If your baby has been refusing to nurse, maintaining your milk supply is key. But pumping should feel manageable, not stressful.

Find Your Magic Number:

• Determine how many times you can pump while keeping your stress level at or below a 2–3 out of 10. Sometimes navigating nursing strikes can take time, and you want to make sure you are playing the long game. 
• More pumping doesn’t always mean more milk. Stress impacts supply, so finding balance is crucial.

Give yourself grace if your “magic number” feels lower than expected. Your milk supply is more resilient than you think, and reducing stress can make a big difference.

5. Get Good Help

Feeding refusals can feel like solving a puzzle, and having the right support is essential. An experienced IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) can help you:

• Identify the root cause of the refusal.
• Create a clear plan to address it.
• Offer guidance and emotional support as you work through challenges.

Not all IBCLCs specialize in the same areas. Ask about their experience with feeding difficulties to make sure they’re a good fit for your needs.

If you’re unsure where to start, let me know—I’m happy to point you in the right direction.

Have More Questions? Check Out These Related Resources:

• Understanding Latching Refusal
• Selecting the right bottle for your baby
• 5 Tips to Pump More Milk & Reduce Stress